Oh dear!

 I hope this doesn't offend anyone,but I'm really done with trying to please everyone. Those of you who know me will just laugh, I hope!

It's been a hectic few months trying to clear up the mess that my life had become. Physically and emotionally. When T moved out, he left so much rubbish behind, tools, rags that he called work clothes and a whole heap of junk cleared out from customers houses and dumped randomly around the property. If I'm honest, I'm still clearing up today! 

Then there are all the half finished jobs in the house that will need a professional to come in and put right! I can handle the decorating and finishing the trims around door frames, but I refuse to touch electrics, nope! I have an electrician coming next week to give me a quote and also someone to check on my leaky roof!

So why have I suddenly lost my cool? Because T still considers we're in a relationship and that he can drop by whenever he's lonely, another big nope! I've hardly seen him in the last couple of weeks because I've been laid up with Covid and it really hit me hard. It's been a very enlightening experience because I was just too sick to get off the sofa some days. I couldn't open my eyes and just had to lay still and listen to the TV or think. I did a lot of thinking!

When a person walks away from a relationship, it's not fair to try to keep a foot in the door. I tried to explain this to T but no, he simply can't understand my stand point and I'm worn out with trying to make it clear. My peace of mind is more important and I need to earn a salary to keep my farm together, which I can't do if I'm an emotional mess.

So, here I am drawing a line. I don't need another person in my life to make me whole. I'm the happiest I've ever been at the moment and I'm loving the quiet, simple life that I'm living. 

I know this is quite a personal post, and I don't often wear my heart on my sleeve, but in order to move on, I feel that I need to really be honest and true to myself.